The most eastern part of my journey is now definitely behind me. My kayak has touched the shore of Asia on the way. I have experienced moments of loneliness in multi-million cities. I have experienced moments of happiness while sitting alone on cliffs high above the water. I have met many awesome friends, seen many beautiful places, and had some uncomfortable encounters too. And this all was connected by one thin line. Each moment on my journey has brought me some new test, new experience. I have been getting to know mainly myself – in a better, truer, and deeper way.
It is quite curious that although I have been collecting a lot of new experience, meeting new people, and discovering new places during the physical journey, on my internal journey I seem to have been getting rid of the baggage I was carrying with me. I guess it isn’t necessary to define exactly what it is that I’ve been leaving behind me. Maybe it’s prejudice, or experience I adopted from someone, maybe it’s ambition. Frankly, I don’t intend to start a philosophical debate here and now on how to approach, understand and handle this inner journey. What I, simply, want to do is to wonder for a moment about what the inner journey uncovered to me, what it brought me and how it enriched me.
The preparations for my travel seem so distant to me now, similarly to ideas and ambitions I had at that time. If we think of time, then it’s been only nearly three years since I decided I’d set on the journey. However, if I look into my own mind, I see that I’ve passed an immeasurable distance over those three years. The desire for fame has became so foreign to me – the same as any interest in competition.
The desire to create and sell high quality products has evaporated and what is left is the feeling for giving out the best of myself and of those things that are created through me. Moreover, I’ve also abandoned the need to plan and control everything. I’ve accepted the variability of reality in a way that I could never even imagine in my head. I’ve found a great gift in little details and enrichment in any kind of discomfort. I’ve realized that sharing doesn’t mean selling myself. Just as I’ve realized that a gift shouldn’t be conditioned by a requirement.
Although the moment of understanding, of the realization of enlightenment lasts only for a fraction of a second, the road to it is usually quite long. One of such ‘Uhu-moments’ made me both laugh and cry. I’ve learnt how to listen to my intuition again. I can also feel different forms of energies surrounding me. The thought of perfecting this ability so that I could share it with others was preocupying me in the past. Still, the thought was somehow floating both in space and time. It was only a blurry vision or a wish.
That moment made me laugh and cry at the same time. I was looking at myself in ave, how was it even possible that I’ve been devoting myself to the thing that fulfills me for months and it’s so natural I hadn’t noticed it at all. Even though, such meetings and discussions often last for many hours and they usually happen several times a day, that realisation allowed me to drop another prejudice I had. I figured out that if I do everything honestly and in the best possible way at any given moment then I no longer have to worry myself about what I don’t manage to do on time. In this view the words ‘manage on time’ lost their meaning absolutely. I’ve found new energy in me through this experience. I’m not sure where this realisation should take me but I’ll follow it’s path faithfully and I’ll invest my new energy into gifts. That’s because, on my journey, I’ve come to the revelation that to give something without creating a duty to give back is really enriching. And this applies for both – being the giver or the gifted one.
I wish you a beautiful day … Although every day is a gift that we’re given without the duty to give back.